The Good:
The mammalian sharp-toothed mole creatures approached the party beneath the sewers in a pack. Almost as if they possessed a group intelligence. They struck hard. Cuppies drew his staff and battered the hell out of a single Grick in armed combat, pummeling its brains into a fine paste. With a final kick at the body, panting, he looked around for something else to engage, ready to beat it to death. The rest of the party watched him in astonishment.
“You killed the last one, Cuppies.” offered Alexander.
“With your staff,” added Rudy.
“You know you have spells, right big guy?” asked Ekerrath.
The Bad:
The leader of the Githzeria, now freed from his prison, explained the purpose of this pocket dimension. “This is a place that shouldn’t exist. It is the place between planes. It is infinitely small from the outside, yet infinitely large on the inside. Entrance here from most planes is extremely difficult. Exiting from here is relatively easy and can gain access to almost any other plane,” he said.
“We have been stationed here, protecting this place, for over a century. Time does not pass on any other plane while here. “
“We’d best get back to our plane, then,” said Ekerrath. The party members nodded in agreement.
“Hold on,” said Alexander thoughtfully. “So you’re telling me that time does not pass here. If we step back out of the portal into our plane, it will be as if no time as passed at all. Is that correct?”
“Indeed,” said the Githzeria.
“So.. We could sleep here. Fully heal up, and then go back, right?”
“That is so.”
“And I could buy a thousand bottles of wine, leave them in here for 200 years on this side, then step back in and take them to my plane and sell finely aged wine in an instant..” mused Alexander.
“I suppose so,” said the Githzeria.
“And we could bring in a thousand young peasants, knowledgeable only in the ways of farming, and spend ten years training them to become a disciplined elite killing force that would emerge seconds after they entered…” said Alexander.
“Well, this realm is small and there is no means of sustenance..” said the Githzeria. But Alexander interrupted him.
“But we could bring food in to feed these troops. We could set magic lights and magically enhance plants within to take care of food needs. Hm. We could bring 500 men and women and have them live and breed here for a thousand years, forming an army of half a million people bound to our will, then order them out of the portal to unless a half-million strong army of Light to fight the darkness.”
“Erm. I think that would not be feasible,” hemmed the Githzeria.
“We could grow food here and take it outside to feed the starving of the world. Even one wheat plant or corn plant, we could just set up golems to harvest them and push them through the portal. And we would have a portal of endless corn, since the corn would come out at the same time,” said Alexander excitedly. “We have before us a cure for all famine within our world! The means of training armies and producing a half a million soldiers in seconds. These possibilities are staggering, and we’ve only begun to think of the implications.. why, we could –“ Alexander was interrupted.
“Geesh, Alexander. Let’s just go already,” said Rudy.
“But – the possibilities.. the implications.” Stammered Alexander.
“We should at least get a full rest. That was a good idea,” said Cuppies.
The party slept the night and left after a restful, dreamless sleep.
The Ugly:
The ritual was finished. A glowing portal to another plane of existence appeared in the wall. The alien spellcaster stepped into it. The portal wavered for a moment as it passed. Clearly, it would not remain open for much longer. One of the remaining men, who was still engaged in combat, rushed past the party, and lept through the portal. As he passed them, he shouted, "Follow me, they cannot be allowed to escape.
“No way I’m going in there,” muttered Rudy.
“Death sentence,” agreed Ekerrath.
“You could be trapped on the other side for eternity,” added Cuppies.
Snarling with bloodlust and raising his glowing amber sword, Alexander charged the portal, diving through.
“Uhoh,” sighed Mara.
“I’m not going!” protested Ekerrath. “Forget about Alexander. He’s a burden anyways.”
“Agreed,” nodded Cuppies.
Player Quotes:
(1) Cuppies: I’ve been spending my time in the city in the wizard’s guild laboratory, crafting low level magic items. Alexander, your boots of adept charging are ready. And I’ve also crafted reading spectacles that allow the wearer to read any language.
Alexander: Impressive.
Cuppies: I’m now the only one in the party who can read Dragonborne.
Mara: Hah.
Ekerrath: Hah. Wait a minute!
(2) Josh: You are in the ancient library.
Cuppies: We’re all searching the library.
(Cuppies rolls)
Josh: Cuppies did not find anything in the library.
(Mara rolls)
Josh: Mara did not find anything in the library.
(Alexander rolls)
Josh: Alexander did not find anything in the library.
Josh: It’s almost as if no matter how much time you spend in the library, you find nothing.
Cuppies: Okay, we get the hint.
(3) (discussing the new release of Adventurer’s Vault)
Jeff: There are some weird things going on in the Adventurer’s Vault with the names of the magic items. “Cooters” – really?
Jen: That was a good movie.
Jeff: They made a series from the movie?
(4) Bob: We’ve been spending a lot of time with King Richard and Rard. They are responsible for the kingdom of light and the civilized races. The last bastion of civilization. But what are King Richard and Rard’s surnames? Does anybody know?
Josh: .. Cayer.
(5) Rudy: We’ve been asked to investigate the sewers.
Cuppies: What’s to investigate? Shit flows down?
(6) Josh: One thing you should note. Alexander’s arm previously glowed a bright light. Now that light has darkened. It glows black.
Ekerrath: Cool. So now it’s a black light. If I smile big, do my teeth glow?
(7) Cuppies: Let’s see. I’m going to use my encounter power against this creature. Which (reading) gives me a bonus.. to my defense .. equal to my constitution bonus. So I’ll be harder to hit till the end of the fight. Nice.
Josh: Okay. So an improvement to AC equal to your constitution bonus.
Cuppies: Yes.
Josh: Which is?
Cuppies: Zero.
(8) Adam: Those gricks look like the worms from Dune.
Bob: Yeah. Like the mealy worms from Dune.
(9) Cuppies: Damn, I’m rolling terrible tonight. I can’t hit anything.
Joel: If Cuppies was one of your basketball players, wouldn’t you bench him by now?
(10) (Josh previously placed a lot of candles on the table and turned out the lights to emulate a torch-lit dungeon crawl. In today’s session, the party is fighting through sewage and sludge of the city sewers.)
Joel: Josh, thanks for not using real sewage for this tonight.
(11) Josh: Within the sewage, you feel your stomach churning and a terrible naseau.
Joel: Just like when I visit Jeff’s family!
(12) Adam: Yes! I rolled a 27 AC!!
Jeff: Dude, you look retarded.
(13) Rard: The best place to land your ship behind enemy lines is a cove near Pantalene.
Cuppies: Panty what now?
Adam: Panty lines?
Cuppies: So you want us to go commando and infiltrate?
Alexander: Go commando and eliminate pantylines. Check. Got it.
(14) Josh: The zombies stumble forward, surrounded by hell hounds.
Alexander: Sit, booboo, sit. Roll over. Uh. Play dead!
Adam: What happens if you order an undead hound to play dead?
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