Session 3 Highlight, Lowlights, and Quotes

Thanks to Bob for putting this together every week. I look forward to it immensely.

The Good:
(1) The gate to the city splinters and hordes of goblins rush through, met with the tattered remains of the city guard. From within the tavern, the sounds of battle cries and metal on metal can be heard. "We're headed to the roof," said Mara curtly, turning and climbing the stairs with Half Pint hot on her tail. "I need a window. Now." said the dragonborne, opening a window on the second floor. Outside, an army of goblins and humans pit themselves against each other in a frenzied fight to the death, neither side giving ground. The streets were packed full of soldiers.

"Mara, make a space for me!" shouted Ekerrath. As if by magic, two arrows suddenly sprouted from the chest of a lowly goblin footsoldier. He collapsed to the ground, leaving a single space open in the crowd below the second floor window. Five other goblins adjacent to the first fought onward. "I'm going in," was the last thing the occupants of the Inn heard before the warrior dove through the window, hurling himself into the street below.

Racing to the window, Cappy Jr. could see Ekerrath standing up and turning to the five goblins. Within seconds the goblins were engulfed in an explosion of flame. Only the dragonborn remained standing in the street.

The Bad:
(1) The ship rocked lightly and the sails cast shadows in the afternoon sun. On one end of the deck, a group of dishevelled humans and dwarves huddled around their leader, while on the other end of the deck, a human, a halfling and a dragonborn surrounded a kobold who was tied and nailed to the floor.

"Tell us of your masters," said the human.
"You don't deserve to know anything. I'll not tell you anything. Orcus will have his revenge and reward me," spat the tied up wyrmpriest prisoner.
"Well then, you don't deserve your left pinky," murmured Alexander as he neatly severed the wyrmpriest's pinky. The kobold howled in pain.
"Everything alright over there?" - Leenia
"Oh yes, just fine, thanks. We're doing great over here!" - Half Pint, Ekerath, and Alexander in unison.

The Ugly:
(1) Cappy: "I shoot a magic missile at him."
Josh: Roll.
Cappy: 1.
Josh: You miss.

Cappy: "I shoot an acid arrow at them."
Josh: Roll.
Cappy: 1.
Josh: You miss.

Cappy: "I shoot a force orb at them."
Josh: Roll.
Bob: Wait! If you spend an action point, you get a +3 from being near a warlord.
Cappy: Oh. Okay. So I'll shoot a magic missile first, then use an action point to shoot the force orb.
Bob: Yes.
Josh: Roll on the magic missile.
Cappy: 7.
Josh: You miss.
Cappy: I use an action point! And cast force orb.
Bob: Don't forget your plus 3.
Josh: Roll.
Cappy: 1.
Bob: Plus three!
Josh: You miss.

Player Quotes:
(1) Adam: "Your chili is due back at 10pm, Josh."
Josh: "So is the guy sitting next to you!"
Bob: "Close burst 1.."

(2) Josh: "So we went into the Kinko's and the guy behind the counter took one look at the world map and then we told him we wanted to make a big blowup of it."
Mike: "How did he react?"
Josh: "Oh, he got real excited. He started talking about how he liked 3.5 more than 4.0 and the reasons why, and his favorite character builds.."
Jeff: "This is where you say 'I'm making this for a friend!' "

(3) Josh: Michael, the human leader of the prisoners, examines the map, commenting in consternation how old and outdated the map is.
Jeff: "Plate tectonics?"

(4) Josh: "So you have decided to set a watch as the ship sails. Most of you go below decks to sleep. Alexander pilots, Leenia is in the crow's nest, and Rudy sleeps on the deck."
Mike: "That's right. We're on the deck. Up here it's their side, but down here it's our side!"

(5) Josh: "Rard greets you, speaking loudly and clearly. An experienced commander who has seen better times."
Jeff: "He speaks Common?"
Josh: "Yes."
Jeff: "You mean to say we've been out of contact for the past 1,000 years and the language has remained static and identical? It hasn't shifted at all or become obsolete through countless generations rising and falling?
Josh: ....
Josh: "I hate you."
Jeff: "Well, that's just amazing."
Josh: "Okay. They have an accent, but you still understand them."

(6) Rard: "We're expecting the goblin attack in three days. The odds are against us."
Jeff: "Three days. You think we can work in a little A-Team action? Let's see. We've got some rations, a lamp, some rope...We could make a bazooka."

(7) Harbek: "We arrived in the village through a tunnel that ran through the Underdark."
Ekerath: "The realm of the drow."
Harbek: "Yes. The journey took six days, and was quite dangerous."
Cappy Jr: "How many people are there in this village? 35 families?"
Alexander: "Yes. Say times ten, gives us 350 people."
Cappy Jr.: "You could evacuate the village through the tunnel."
Alexander: "And blow up the tunnel behind you."
Ekerath: "No, but there's women and children in the village. Taking them through the drow-infested Underdark... If we sent the entire village of women and children through the Underdark, losses would be between 30% and 54%."
Cappy Jr.: "Sixty percent of statistics are completely made up!"

(8) Half Pint: "The goblins are coming. I think we should dig big trenches around the village and fill them with oil and then cover them with sand. And then when the goblins come, we'll set them aflame. And then we'll call our friends, the vampire bird-people, and they'll eat all the goblins."
Josh: "Hey - that's how they saved the village in Beastmaster!!"
Half Pint: "Oh yeah.."

(9) Josh: Okay, we can do the goblin seige now. But it's going to take at least an hour. It's 11:30.
Joel (to Jeff): "This must be hard for you. How long have you been up, now -- 7 hours?"

(10) Cappy Jr: "Have no fear. I will use my powers of Prejudice Nation to protect the townspeople."
Josh: "You mean Pestigitation."
Cappy Jr: "That too."

(11) Joel (standing up in the middle of the goblin seige): "You know what? I think we should --"
Bob: "I think you should --"
Josh: "I think you should sit down and zip your fly."