The Good, the bad, and the ugly

The Good:

(1) Rudy crept stealthily through the rubble, first in, first to act. The dragon was huge and slow, allowing the Halfling easy access to its unarmored underbelly. In a sudden, savage gesture, he tore into the dragon's belly, black ochre liquid spraying everywhere. It roared in surprise and genuine pain. As Half-pint staggered back, he wondered in retrospect whether this was his wisest move… (40 points of damage in one hit)

The Bad:

(1) The wyrm opened its mouth and acid spewed forth across the doorway, splattering the dragonborn from head to toe. Ekerrath fell back, clutching his eyes. Holes appeared in his armor the size of walnuts, and the faint sound of sizzling could be heard. Ekerrath wiped his face and stood upright, defiant. The black dragon unfurled its wingspan and waves of fear emanated from its obsidian body. For the first time in his life, the dragonborn knew fear…

The Ugly:

(1) Darkness engulfed the party, filling the destroyed room with pitch blackness. "Everybody out – to the hallway," someone shouted, as the adventurers raced out the open door. Outside, the bloodied adventurers waited silently on either side of the entrance to the room. They breathed heavily. Sweat rolled down their faces as they readied themselves for the massive dragon to launch itself through the door. The archers spread out, slowly stepping backwards, facing the room entrance.

Light filtered in from the ruined roof above. Tension rose to near unbearable levels. Time paused momentarily when the light beams cutting through the roof suddenly winked out. Then, with a resounding crash, the remnants of the ceiling rained down upon three party members, and along with it, the wrath of a vengeful dragon.

Player Quotes:

(1) Josh: "So who will be playing Rudy tonight?"
Adam: "Jeff will. He'll get a chance to move and stuff."
Jen (on her cell phone): "I'm talking to Mike now. He says Jeff, you can play him, but somebody else has to roll for him."
Jeff: "What? Rudy has magic missile?"

(2) Jen (on her cell phone): "Mike says he's sorry he can't make it tonight, be he's on the plane sitting next to two hot ass chicks."
Joel: "I'm sure they're very impressed with the number of dies you have."

(3) Josh: "The hobgoblins carried little equipment. There wasn't much to loot."
Jeff: "What, nothing?"
Josh: "Well, they did have long, pointed objects you can throw at people."

Bob: "Javelins?"
Adam: "Jarts? The hobgoblins had lawn Jarts? Awesome."

(4) Josh: "The door appears normal."
Jeff (suspiciously): "It doesn't look strange? Arcane at all?"
Josh (sighing): "No."
Jeff: "It doesn't look trapped in some way?"
Josh: "Not at all. It looks completely safe."
Jeff: "Rudy doesn't trust it. He's going to check for traps."
Josh (exasperated): "Fine. You roll a 75. You don't find anything!"

(5) Josh: "You open the door, revealing an empty room with a black pentagram inscribed on the floor."
Bob: *sigh* "There go those AC/DC kids again."
Adam: "There go those DnD kids again!"

(6) Ancient Imprisoned Imp: "Plleeeeasse. Let me out. Let mee out."
Cuppy Jr: "Only if you give us information first."
Imp: "Yess. Information."
Joel: "Let's interrogate it!"
Mara: "Does it still have its pinkies?"

(7) Ancient Imprisoned Imp: "I know nothing. Let meeee oooouuuut!"
Ekerrath: "What's your name?"
Imp (annoyed): "Adam. I am done with you. Done with you!"

(8) Ancient Imprisoned Imp: "Leeet me out! Teach you things. Magic things."
Cuppy Jr: "Teach me… Enchant Magic Item!"
Imp (slyly): "Paper and quill. Give me paper and quill and I write it for you."
Cuppy Jr: "Okay. Does anyone have any writing equipment I can give to this imp?"
Joel (leaning over to look at Jeff's character sheet): "Did you roll an int of 5?!"

(9) Josh: "Dust fills the room from broken ceiling and wall. Light filters in sparkling rays. A young black Dragon is here, clawing at the ancient stone blocks of the wall, tumbling them to the ground below. As you enter, it turns, bringing its malevolence to bear. Rudy, you're first. What's Rudy going to do?"
Adam: "Go get him, Ray."

(10) Jeff: "I.. use.. magic missile on it."
Bob: "In the dark? With a -5 to hit?"
Jeff: "Natural 20."
(General cheering.)
Joel: "Good thing you've been practicing magic missile."

(11) Jeff (playing Rudy): "So I use my sword."
Adam (helping Jeff): "Right, but in this case you use your strength bonus, not your dex bonus."
Jeff: "And I add 2."
Adam: "Plus two from Lance of Faith."
Jeff: "And two for flanking."
Adam: "But subtract five for the darkness."
Jeff: "Plus three from Alexander."
Joel (exasperated): "I'm telling you, combat is harder than Chess!"